All you need to do is ask

The old adage that actions speak louder than words doesn’t always hold up. Especially in leadership. When leaders are proficient in making promises and requests, language becomes an act of leadership. Language and leadership go hand-in-glove - key to collaboration, problem solving and creating a new future for a company.

Requests are one of the most fundamental building blocks here. But while asking someone to do something might sound basic, few people actually do it, and fewer do it well. 

When done right, requests are actions in and of themselves, with the power to create futures. So when is a talk just talk, and when does it become something more potent? Well, it partly comes down to the anatomy under the skin of the conversation. 

Our default attitudes to requests

More often than not, instead of making a request, people will act solo. This is usually not a conscious decision. Often they will not even consider that it is possible to ask someone else for help. Remote working can reinforce this mindset even more: people are physically situated in a silo, so they operate in one too. 

Even conventionally, people don’t do much teaming. They might be placed in teams and work on collaborative tasks, but they don’t form their own organic ways of working with others - ways that reach beyond formal team members to create possibilities throughout an organisation.

On the flipside, there are some people who will delegate tasks to others without any commitment to them. In this scenario, the requester is striking tasks off their to-do list but taking no responsibility for the results.

Where is the commitment?

For words to become a speech act, they need to have a level of commitment behind them. For a request to have true power, both parties need to be taking 100% responsibility in the exchange. A true request is not a case of one person shifting responsibility to another. 

The trouble is, most of us have learned how requests work through hierarchical structures, both at school and in traditionally-minded workplaces. Particularly when we are at the stage of an individual contributor, we can see requests as something that only leaders above us should do. 

Even more dangerously, we can believe that making requests without formal authority is a sign that we can’t do a job well ourselves - a mark against our performance. In an attempt to look good to our superiors, we keep our heads down and get on with it. 

But this is a problem. Sometimes we need to recognise that we’re not best placed to complete a task ourselves. If we know someone else can achieve a better outcome, the most committed action is to make a request. The act of not making a request in this scenario shows that our commitment lies with something else, which has nothing to do with the company or the people we work with.

To achieve the best outcomes, we need to see requests in a different light. We need to see that they are key to working strategically. That they are part of the ebb and flow of collaboration: as we make a request of one person, another will make a request of us. And together we can create far more than we could ever achieve independently.

What goes into a request?

A true request is made of four elements:

1. 1. Who? A committed request needs to be targeted at someone. It is not enough to throw the request into the ether of a meeting and for everyone to vaguely agree to it. A request needs someone specific to commit to creating the outcome. 
2. 2. What? We need to say what we are requesting and make clear that it is, in fact, a request. Pointed language is better than leaving room for misinterpretation. Even saying, “I request this…” can be helpful.
3. 3. By when? Because without a time restriction, there’s little commitment involved. The action can be postponed forever. 
4. 4. Conditions of satisfaction. This prevents the kind of scenario that prompts people to say, “If you want a job done well, you have to do it yourself.” The more specific your request, the better.

If you’ve included these four elements, you’re setting the other person up for success. But the exchange hasn’t finished yet and the request is not completed. You need a reply - and you need to allow for a range of responses:

4. A commitment to commit later. Because sometimes saying yes now compromises on our commitments elsewhere.

Bold breakthrough leaders often make unreasonable requests of their people. And it is this that enables their teams to achieve the impossible. But such requests can only create good outcomes if the people working with them feel under no duress. As long as they can make alternative responses to their leader’s sky-high requests, reaching for the stars isn’t such a mad thing to ask for.

Looking to create an impossible future? Get in touch to explore how we can help you ignite your ambitions.